It never fails, I’m a target for old heads. Sometimes it feels like I have a big ass tattoo on my head that says, “Come get your youngin.” Whether there five (not so bad) ten or twenty years older than me, all they want to do is “wine and dine me.” Granted, a free meal and some wine is quite enticing to any pretty lady, but it’s ridiculously awkward when dude is a year older than my father. 24/7, I cross paths with young, vivacious, sexy, energetic dudes and Mr. Bengay from the corner is the only one interested in taking me to a “picture show” (a term used for the movies back in the day).

For years I’ve been startled as to WHY? Are they just horny oldies who want to get it in with a “young yam” (Yes, I’ve been called that before...smfh) or is it something about my aesthetic today that younger guys who pass me by haven’t yet picked upon? I use to blame it on my vintage wearing habit or should I say addiction, I figured I was giving them a flashback of the good old days.

Until I met Q….

I met Q around the way. He clearly knew my age after asking me like ten times. He’d still make his passes and spit his Superfly Bed-Stuy game. I use to watch Q closely, you could just tell that his years had taken him from being a shorty to grey beard man. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t kiss me on the hand or tell me how beautiful I was. I never got it, but I was actually flattered most of the time. I mean he was halfway Santa Clausen it with that beard but he still had mad swag. On moody days when ever I saw him he would make me laugh and give me insightful words of wisdom. One day, and I remember it verbatim, he said, “Baby girl I hope I don’t bother you but you don’t realize how beautiful you are and it’s just not on the outside. You have a beautiful spirit and you’re fearless when it comes to being silly and different. These young boys don’t appreciate that sexy shit.” Was I turned the hell on, HA! It was the fire behind is eyes when he said it.. I’d never experienced someone so understanding and passionate about my characteristics. He touched on something that I was always aware of. Q just brought that to light by just confirming its truth.

After that conversation with Q, I thought so heavily about younger guys not appreciating all the jewels I had to offer and figured I switch it up. I mean I wouldn’t go the Q route because that would put a man in jail on child molestation charges but I’ll explore the world of dealing with older dudes. Well if that conversation with Q wasn’t an ego booster and a pre-cursor to all the shit that would later occur in my fragile growth process, then I don’t know what else would have led me down that road.

Throughout my complex journey in finding love in all the wrong places I stumbled on an interesting obeservation. I started to see a pattern where every dude I was dealing with swore he was a grown ass man. I gradually found out that some men embodie a boyish quality that forces them to be confused on handling and resolving unnecessary shit so pubescent girls get caught up in the mix and unfortunately get dragged to mend those fucked up frustrations.

You know what too heavy for one post!

Soon You’ll Understand...Next week:)


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