Moment Of Clarity

Everyday my life changes. Some days it changes a little more than others but, nonetheless, the lesson learned is always well defined.

I've executive produced a lot of relationships these past few years. If I do what I do like I'm doing it for TV, then my love life would be comparable to Flavor of Love. I'd be Flava Flav, choosing the more King Cover worthy contestant just to leave the viewers with a few spinoff shows (i.e. relationships) starring the comically disgruntled runner ups. Ironically, the same reasons most guys are attracted to me usually ends up the same reasons they hate me. They say they love my "drive" and "independence" but, they never realize that they lose my respect when they become dependent on my drive and independence to fester their infatuation. Fall in love with you, then fall in love with me. Dependency is a weak emotion that doesn't translate to masculinity in my eyes. Dating me is like running into a brick wall when you're designed to only deal with females with domestic problems and looking to fill male voids. Blame my Dad. He set the standard.

Like Cece says, I'm a fucking G. I handle my business around oblong tables during the day but, I have my eyes and ears still on the streets. But, if I shoot "the haters" I'm brainless so, like an adult, I ignore D'evils. Hi, my name is Teneille and I have a team of over fifteen adults, a lawyer and an accountant believing in my every move for their own futures. That's more pressure than alot of people my age will ever understand right now. I know who's for me, I know who's secretly against me, I know who's "using" me, I see the snakes in the grass blowing hisses disguised as kisses in my direction after every one of my little successes. Look at what I'm building, when did I slow up to get stupid? Hi, my name is Teneille and I got 99 problems and a bitch or a bitch nigga ain't one of them. I've got a couple families to feed besides my own now. Respect that.

But, overall, life is great. I'm having a block party for my birthday this year. Bringing out clowns for the neighborhood kids and all that. Because despite the bullshit a small few wish on me, I get more love than a little bit from those that really matter. Ask Shaina, hit Rockaway Ave with me and you'll hear the trumpets blaring like Roc Boys just started playing. Got me feeling like Mike Jordan fresh out of Charlotte and heavier than Moses parting the Red Sea. I haven't even done half of what I was destined to do in life and I've already made my hood proud. I hit the block and get swarmed by the teenagers who just want a hug and the drug dealers following up with that reassuring smile and head nod of pride. Shit! I haven't even made it yet. But, somehow, just living my life with no regrets and making the moves that'll secure my own mental clarity has inspired a few others. I've never given breath to "the haters". I've never addressed them or ever acknowledged them here on anywhere else for that matter. But, today I want them to read this post. I want them to blog about it, tweet subliminals, conspire amongst each other and scoff at what appears to be arrogance on my part. But be forewarned, the inspiration I've fed others will forever keep me alive, unstoppable.

Posted by Teneille