A couple of months ago, I met a really beautiful guy (I'm a sucker for a Brooklyn bred red bone in a navy Yankee fitted :-/). I was slightly (okay very) wasted and leaving a really wild party with my two best friends and this annoyingly conservative journalist who had been trying to date me for the past year with no luck. The alcohol had me feeling a tad bit ignorant and I loudly apologized to the guy who'd been trying to take me out while I exchanged numbers with the "really beautiful guy". Funnily, I knew I'd have nothing in common with him and had no plans to call him but, I was drunk, technically single and living in the moment.

By the next morning, I'd forgotten the gritty details of what had transpired the night before. I'd remembered repeatedly praising someone for being beautiful and then Cece's voice softly directing me into my dark apartment "Tee, don't throw up okay." or something to that effect she whispered. Sobered up and dishing on the events of the night before, I'd felt the most embarrassed I have in a long time. I knew I must've acted like an asshole...times ten. My mother always told me my mouth would get me in trouble. What the hell did I say to this guy? All I could do was hope he'd never call because I definitely wasnt calling him.

He called first.

We'd seen each other three times since then. Twice at parties and once more on a date. We have absolutely no connection. It's so obvious it hurts. Forgiveably, with my priorities so concrete these days, our communication has been reduced to texts and occasional phone calling. After about five months in and no definitive reason to slow fade him, I'd asked the most important question in any pergatory stage courtship...

"What are you looking for?"

I knew I didn't want anything from him but, maybe this question would force a side of him that I hadn't noticed before.

"Honestly? Great convo and even better sex...too much right? Lol" he texts back.

"So you want a fuck buddy?! I can be a great conversationalist but honestly for me, I'm not into sex like that. Guess that's why we never got together for real. I don't want my cooch all wore out, I'm all about preservation of the puss" I retort.

"I didn't say abuse, more like 4, 5 times a week...but with you I'd be lucky if it was even 3 times a year lol" he replies.

My eyes bulged out of my head! Four or five times a week? This nig's crazy (as Keisha would say)! Those are boyfriend privilege's. I'm not wearing my shit out for some regular ass dude that just wants a free ride, literally. I guess that's why jumpoff's are always in business. I can't imagine myself having sex with someone who I am not in a relationship that much. Four or five times a WEEK?! That's like a full time job i.e. a relationship! Am I being a prude?

How much sex is too much with one person who you're not in a relationship with?

Posted by Teneille


Mr. Sykes said... @ May 8, 2009 at 7:00 PM

Tee! you kill me sometimes yo! No that's not too much. 4-5 times a week smh... I mean if you only do it once a night sure but please...ur such a prude LMFAO...wait then again I have been accused of being a nympho so don't take my word for it.

Teneille said... @ May 8, 2009 at 7:26 PM

With some dude whose not your man though? That's not it!

Sofia said... @ May 9, 2009 at 3:59 PM

4-5 times a week is more than too much..shit how much is homeboy paying? In my opinion once a week is too much too, a jump off means jump off..random..its not something to plan ahead for or placed into a schedule. I give it twice a month at the most more than that and here comes feelings and some dude who just wanted to please you is telling you all his problems. So I suggest keeping a few random n#@gas on speed dial.. but not like I know..its from the stories I read..believe me.

Teneille said... @ May 9, 2009 at 4:33 PM

LMAOOOO @ Sofia "not like I know". I knew someone else would agree with me. He's tryna sneak me with a relationship on the low. Smh.

Dani B. said... @ May 10, 2009 at 5:27 AM

For some1 NOT to be in a relationship, I think a good amount is like once, twice a month. But in all honesty, I know I couldn't have sexual relations with someone who isn't exclusively my man

Anonymous said... @ May 11, 2009 at 2:27 AM

4 to 5 times a week ,hell no and you not my man.. He better go beat with palmella !

100K said... @ May 11, 2009 at 1:10 PM

no comment. I cant really knock his hustle LOL.

On some real shit though, at least he was honest...I was having a conversation with my boys about this the other day and one of em was saying how he tells chicks anything for some ass. I think that's why I'm single now. I cant lie to a female just for some sex.

Mr. Sykes said... @ May 11, 2009 at 8:47 PM

Ya'll cold as ice but I see were your coming from!!! LOL

Hollywood Style said... @ May 17, 2009 at 12:47 AM

Keeping it real, if u sex a guy too fast 9times outta 10 thats all he will ever want you for. You lose quality to a guy when that happens so he looks to u to get his nut off for whenever. and if u deny him he doesn't care anyway cuz he got his already. It's on to the next one after that...

Good Life said... @ May 17, 2009 at 1:34 PM

There are waaay too many politics with sex these days. This is why im going MILF. And why are we counting how many times anyway? We should be at a level where if one of us is in the mood, then we should be good. I'd been damn if shes gonna tell me "we can have sex tonight, but then thats the limit till the next monday" ....

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