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I look like merch today.

Wait, that’s not the truth.

I’ve been looking like merch since Thanksgiving night.

If I were a boy…I’d be one who’s been working so hard he hasn’t gotten around to getting a well needed haircut. I’ve been creeping through Chelsea to galleries all week in sneaks, a hat real low and wayfarers. *In my Camron in Paid In Full voice* No manicure, no eyelashes, no lipgloss. Just Chapstick, moisturizer and a duffle bag full of mags and Jolly Joes (the grape Mike and Ike’s).

Shit is real.

But, I believe if you can dream it you can do it. So if I have to trade in “my fly” for the next few months to accomplish my next goal, then so be it. I remember a conversation Troy and I had last year about the differences in people's motives for success. Are you looking to win or do what feels good to you? Seems like the answer should be easy right? But, I've met alot of chicks who've admitted to pursuing the "dream" of becoming famous. That's a dream? Hearing that always bugs me out. Getting into the "right" parties, "networking" and of course fucking with the "right" dude.

The shallow shit exists. The ulterior motives are everywhere. You'd just never get one to admit it.

So although I toy with the idea of a relationship, I know there's really no room for one in my life right now. Not with the options I"m presented with at least. Maybe, I'll have me a slice of white bread...

But it's not because I don't have options, lol. But, because no one understands me. Especially when I'm in focus mode. I don't need a cheerleader, I need a chess player. But, no ones playing chess. Everyone's still playing 7 Minutes In Heaven so... :-/

And my IPod just died on this song so now its stuck in my head…

2 comments

K.icks M.aterials H.er said... @ December 4, 2008 at 9:19 PM

*playing: GLC-big screen ft. Kanye*(while typing... Literally :D )

Its funny u made a Cam quote cause that's how I pictured u looking,lol.

Pink Cam > Hobos > wine-o's > Cam that's been poppin up in these pictures(smh)

A lot of people never understand, even as u believe they do. When u least expect it, you realize they don't have the work ethic, drive, nor hunger for obtaining the dreams of success. It is very rare to ACTUALLY MEET(in person) people who actually (ROB&BIG):"do work". Most people don't think the people on TV had to work for their job.

Notice though, those who are just given shit... Never last long! A lot people have different ventures where they don't need to dabble what your dabble in with a COMPLETE urgency that you have.(Maybe that's just me in the position of not going to school, but everybody that I deal with does. So they don't need to fully work as hard as I do, because they can get a degree. But on the other plane this is ALL I got. And my life depends on my product.)

Now on to the starry eyed girl. With her h&m skinny jeans and peace scarf(smh) with her knock-off fendi bag... Tryna get a hypebeast boy or blogger(yea,we're the ideal guys now :D ha!). Maybe they feel they have nothing else except for to push her way in with her exclusive man. Taking pictures with the clipse and talking blog drops(sorry off track again,lol). Its all fun and games really. Not too many I know are lookin for the doctor types. Hipster rap models, are prolly the best thing smoke'n, ha!

Staying on relationships though... I found it wasn't that hard to find the "wifey" type. Just actually pay attention to ALL OPTIONS! Cause I learned u might find exactly what u need right under ur nose(score,ha!).

Nice pizzost, cuh :)

P*S: I'm playing chess with my eyes closed,lol.

Teneille said... @ December 5, 2008 at 9:35 AM

Thanks Kicks,

I'm just not the kind of chick to take the obvious/easy way out. Maybe it's the west indian in me but, I believe in working hard for yours and not on your back or posing at a party but, actually getting down and grinding it out for yours. And I'm about to be 25 so you damn right theres a sense of urgency, lol.

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