I Feel A Chill in the Air...

Dear Winter,

I just wanted to give you the heads up...I know exactly what you're up to. I peeped your steelo back when I was fuckin with Summer. And Fall put me on to all your trickery. So please don't try anything stupid over here!

I dont want to end up one of your victims, trapped in some kind of hum drum relationship for the sake of just wanting to be with someone. You are quite the enticing one, I know how much warmer my bed would be with someone on that side I usually don't sleep on or how many movie dates Im missing out on. You throw in my face that extra Christmas gift Im missing out on and your biggest torment, Valentines' Day...HA..I laugh at you for thinking I would give in so easily.

Don't get me wrong, I would totally be obliged to a meaningful relationship, but for the right reasons! I can't allow a chill in the air to make me feel like Im doing something wrong for still being single. Nor can I allow it to make me fall for the next chump that wants to take me on a date. I feel very sorry for the suckers that fall for your bullshit every year. The dummies who end up in 3 or 4 month relationships and cant figure out what went wrong as they trade their Northface for a windbreaker. It seems like every guy I know is scrambling for a winter bunny to hold them down, whether they realize it or not. Silly fools don't even realize that the relationships they seek, while on the surface seem quite substantial, are just as superficial as those many summer night jump offs.

So thanks Winter, but no thanks. You've fooled me once before..but not again.

Sincerely,

Shaina