The Daddy Influence

A little late for Father's Day but, just as sentimental...

If you know me well enough or have been following BOYS+CLOTHES since the beginning, then you know that I have been rumored to be a said..."Daddy's Girl". But, in my defense I digress. There is nothing cookie-cutter-cutesy about the relationship between my Dad and I. Yes, we've had our share of earth shattering fallouts and disagreements (mainly because our personalities are eeriely identical) but, my Dad is one of my BEST friends in the entire world. Now, is it about him filling me with ego boosting praises or showering me with lavish gifts and trips? Absolutely not. I love my Dad because of our honesty and respect for one another. I can dish to my Dad the gritty details I would about everything from my finances to my love life with just as much ease as I would with Cece or Shaina. "Dad, do you think he might be struggling with his sexuality?" I asked him once about a guy I was dating. "No, I think he didn't have a father figure so he doesn't know how to stand up and be a muthafucking man! Tell that muthafucker be a man and stand up for something!" was his response. No bullshit. Despite his potty mouth and brutish nature, my Dad has managed to build an admirable reputation and fortune for himself given his many obstacles. During one of his recent trips to the East Coast, he acted as my date to a large dinner party thrown by a friend of mine. Towards the end of the night as we were all reaching into our purses to begin tallying up the bill, Daddy had already paid for it. The entire bill.

I'm proud to say I want to marry a man like my Dad and for a few more reasons than him having the check. Here's why...

My Dad is a 'G'. Despite the fact that he might be wearing a suit or crisp new button up, he will scrap and might even bust a cap in anyone's ass if you disrespect his manhood or his family. You don't even have to bring it out of him. It's like he walks around wearing an invisible "Don't Try To Play Me" button on his lapel.

My Dad is a GENIUS in business. From the streets to the corporate world, my Dad can and will flip his cash. When he "hits a lick" as he says, you'd better believe his money is going to be invested and spent wisely. He's never afraid of change. If it sounds like money, he'll pack up and open a business in Kalamazoo. And he's always around to give advice to a fellow entrepreneur needing that extra support.

My Dad cherishes his family. I have seen my Dad down in the dumps at times over the last 25 years but, one thing that has always kept him going was his love for his family. No matter how much my Dad has or hasn't had, I've always felt happy in his presence just the same. Whether he's dropping $500 on a day at the circus or $50, the sentimental worth he's instilled in our family bonds, is priceless.

My Dad is my friend. My Dad has shown me that friendship is the foundation of a loving and evolving relationship. My Dad has shown me to never be afraid to love someone vulnerably, accepting their flaws and bearing your own. He has taught me that when you communicate with someone as a friend above all, your relationship will be able to withstand any and everything.

What does this ultimately say about the man I love and hope to marry one day?

He's definitely not soft. He'll fight for himself, his family and what he believes in and won't be afraid to get physical if he has too. He's an intelligent risk taker who seeks security but, understands the importance of diversity in his resources and assets. He's a family man and he isn't afraid to love and be loved, fully, flaws and all.

It seems subconsciously we all seem to gravitate towards men whom show some sort of similarities to our fathers. Interestingly enough, I remember having a fall out with my Dad a few years back and indeed the types of guys that I entered into relationships with during that time were so off base than the types of guys I'd date now given our (my Dad and I) relationship is stronger. Maybe I'm cleaning it up because he wouldn't dare allow me to settle for a man less than him.

So, I LOVE YOU DAD! And, I'll never apologize to any man for being the woman you're proud to have raised!

Posted by Teneille