Yesterday during my weekly mani/pedi, a real disturbing circumstance occurred.

Counting down the minutes until my nails and toes were dry, a what is usually a serene afternoon quickly took a turn for the ignorant.

A group of girls entered the nail salon and one stood out from the rest as she was obnoxiously loud. She’d bumped into a former fling of hers in front of the salon. “Where’s your kids at?” he asked. “KIDS?! What the FUCK I look like with kids? Not me with no dirty ass little kids behind me nikkkka! Fuck outta here!”.

Ok, FREEZE.This scene was alot extra.

On some real shit, ask Cece. When I got pregnant with Yung, I’d just walked for Fashion Week, was hitting up all the industry parties and had officially unleashed my uninhibited inner rockstar. When I made the decision to keep my baby, I didn’t know how I would break the news to my manager so I avoided his call for about two weeks. Eventually, I got the balls to face him and I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. “You could be the next Naomi, think about what you’re doing.” “Do you know how many calls I got for you?”, “Don’t ruin your career”. I almost named Yung Zion because there were so many people trying to convince me to not have my son it had me feeling like Lauryn Hill. Obviously, I chose Yung. And he’s been the best choice I’ve ever made.

My life has been much more fulfilling since becoming a parent. Professionally, it hasn’t slowed me down a bit but, emotionally it has and in a great way. I’ve learned to appreciate the simpler things in life and have a divine understanding of what real love feels like. Yung has matured me. And he’s even made me rightfully selective of the guys I date. There’s no day that goes by that I wish I had made any other decision. Even on the worst days, he makes me feel my best. At three, he told me he wanted to be a doctor because he wants to help people. Hearing him say things like this proves to me that I am doing the right thing. As a toddler he’s selfless and confident. What a beautiful reflection that I don’t need a mirror to see.

So, while being “single, sexy, and free” might be the best choice for others please try and refrain from judging those who chose the family route. I get all the time how much “I don’t look like I have a child”, or how “impressive” it is that I’ve done so much in life “even though I have a child” but come on y’all, mothers are humans too. I still like fashion and I still get dudes. And not hater dudes who hate kids. I’ve had dudes offer to adopt Yung (even though he has a very involved Dad) and even take him to meet Diddy (dead ass). Granted, I don’t’ let anyone except platonic male friends usually meet Yung, the guys I date always try in an attempt to get “closer” to me. So ladies, before you go unconsciously judging think about how much of a blessing children are to some.


Sofia said... @ April 14, 2009 at 3:30 PM

Fun-ny...that young man Yung.

In my opinion kids are like a bank account. Anyone can open one but you can't expect interest unless you make a deposit. And then the amount of interest varies by the amount you put in, so the more you put the more in theory you should receive back. I love my son, there is nothing I wouldn't do for him but I have to admit in the past I've had selfish moments of what if..but then I realized something, he made me become more appreciative of life as well as the life of others and inadvertently pushed me to do more for myself because he deserved as much as life can give.

Keisha Buggs said... @ April 14, 2009 at 7:39 PM

teneielle I couldn't have said it better myself... when I got pregnant I remember being afraid I wasn't married so I worried about being judged (becoming a statistic so to speak) but my son has made me a better person a stronger person,because I'm not just living for me anymore I'm living for him as well. it amazes me at times how bright he is at only two! children are truly a blessing

leahnicole said... @ April 14, 2009 at 8:25 PM

inspiring teneille. i think youth make the world a brighter place (especially those raised in Love) and they definitely keep me touched in with my own innocence, simplicity and integrity.
In tibetan buddhism, a bodhisattva is someone who devotes their life to the service of others betterment, and they always say mothers are the ultimate bodhisattvas. go mamas!!!

leahnicole said... @ April 14, 2009 at 8:25 PM
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Mr. Sykes said... @ April 16, 2009 at 10:57 PM

That entire post made me tear up...

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