Sometimes I don't give my mother enough credit. Without going into all the details (I can never get into the nitty gritty with her) I told her about the big argument I had with Zeus, her reply to me "Why are you having big arguments with someone thats not your man?" I couldn't help but agree. She's been dying to meet him. I guess I would too. For almost year now he's been the only guy I've spoken about the most to my moms. Whenever she asks me all I tell her is "its not that serious." Her reply to me "if its not that serious, why are you still dealing with him?" I ask myself the same question everyday. I seemed to have made myself completely sick over this situation with Zeus. I spent almost a whole week depressed, not feeling like myself. I decided to confide in my sister and she made me realize I was losing myself. In her opinion I wasn't being the Shaina that she knows. The sister she knows doesn't give a f**k.

Zeus is easy. Atleast it started out that way. Even now, despite our constant tiffs, we always come back to each other. I know if Im hungry he got me, if he goes to AC and loses some bread, he knows he's good. If there was no reciprocity in this, I wouldnt do it, but somehow Im never emptyhanded with him. My issue with him is that he keeps me in limbo. He doesnt want a girlfriend at the moment, he's enjoying the single life, but he doesnt want me to make an exit just yet.

I make attempts to move on, like Pretty. Pretty made sure he was the first person to text me on my birthday, yet the only time he seems to hit me up is late at night, after the party is over. Is that really the only time I cross your mind? Like I dont know what that means!!! The last time he hit me up was about 530 in the morning, when I informed him I was going to sleep he, in so many words, said he was "looking for something to do." Really??? Something to do....*sigh*


Kwan Lee said... @ December 11, 2008 at 1:33 AM

Damn kid, when the book or the videos coming out? The black Sex and The City I tell you....

Hopefully nobody leaves anything dumb or truly unnecessary on here though this time. This is something men and women go through. at least the grown ones.

$port said... @ December 11, 2008 at 12:11 PM

^^word..and it's not a good feeling at all...but the moment you do finally move on, dude is gonna be shit outta luck...

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